Change can either be abrupt, such as a layoff or a divorce or a death. Or change can be gradual, such as preparation for a promotion, moving to another town, or graduating with an advanced degree.
But change always means that we are different – emotionally, physically, and personally. And those around us who we have known for quite some time can tend to be unaware of the gradual changes that occur in all of us. We are different and yet those around us are unaware of those differences because we are generally the same person. But we’ve changed inside. We see things differently, we are ready for new things, and we are excited about the new path.
We can become frustrated, however, when things on the outside don’t change as fast as we are ready for them to. Why? Because the change inside has occurred and even though the circumstances haven’t changed. The reality is, however, that your circumstances just haven’t caught up with you yet. Our inner world is different but our outer world is not.
What should one do when we are in this transition between what is on the inside and what we want to happen on the outside?
- Begin to speak differently. Many times we are saying and doing the same things (i.e. jobs) that we have always done and we have not yet articulated the difference inside of us. We haven’t spoken the changes that we see inside. Figure out how to differentiate between what you were and what you want to have/be/do next.
- Be what you want next. Once you figure out how to speak differently, you need to behave in a way that reflects what you really want. People and situations haven’t yet understood that you are different. Learn to adopt the persona of who you are and what you want next.
- Be patient. Your life is a ship and it takes a while for the ship to turn in the direction that you want it to go. It takes effort to keep the helm of your life turning because the forces that want to keep it the way it was are so powerful, especially in the beginning. Don’t let up but be patient while people and circumstances begin to change.
- Be gracious. Not everyone will go with you on this new journey. You family, your friends, your business associates may give you a hard time about the changes that you want to make. Understand that some may leave you. Understand some may question you. Understand that some may support you. Know that if you are gracious to all, eventually those who truly care about you will make the effort to understand.
Change is not easy. We all go through it. No one escapes. But all change is good – even the bad ones. You become more of who you really are and what you really are meant to be. Each step in your journey is good. Each step is enlightening. East step is empowering.
What changes are before you?